


i can only reach you from where you are

by yoosungisbabie (macaronsforchat)



Series: MysMe Angst Week 2020 [6]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Separations, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27784459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macaronsforchat/pseuds/yoosungisbabie
Summary: She’s convinced he doesn’t love her anymore. Maybe he never did.
Relationships: Han Jumin & Main Character, Han Jumin & Reader, Han Jumin/Main Character, Han Jumin/Reader
Series: MysMe Angst Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024801
Kudos: 84





	i can only reach you from where you are

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: {separation} / tears

Elizabeth the 3rd nuzzled against her hand, making her giggle as she continued petting the cat. She’d lowered herself to the floor of the foyer, knowing that he would be home soon and willing to wait. 

Both of them flinched when the door clicked, opening slowly as Jumin stepped inside and saw them on the ground. 

“Hello, my lovely ladies,” he smiled, setting his briefcase down as she stood to meet him. 

“Welcome home,” she grinned. She walked over to him quickly, watching his eyes soften as the fatigue in them started to dissolve. Standing on her toes, she pressed a kiss quick to his cheek before she wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug. 

But her heart fell, as it always did, when his arms didn’t move an inch to return her hug. She let go quickly, trying to hide her disheartened look by ducking her head. She smoothed out her dress, stepping back from him and forcing a smile. 

When she looked back up at him, he looked completely delighted as he gazed at her with a soft grin. It was an unexpected sight, but she tried to appreciate it, returning his smile. 

“I just finished making dinner. Are you hungry?” she asked, watching as he slid his suit jacket from his shoulders. 

“For your cooking? Always,” he replied warmly, making her heavy heart feel a little lighter. 

They moved to the dining room, and she prepared both of their plates as he settled into his seat at the head of the table. She placed his plate down in front of him, taking a seat and watching his expression. 

“You’re so kind, darling. Thank you,” he spoke, bringing another smile to her face. She shrugged, chuckling a little. 

“It was fun,” she told him, seeing him take a bite. She’d been with him at a few dinners where the food had been less than satisfactory, so she’d come to know his reactions, however subtle, quite well. It was immediately obvious she’d done well that night, which made her let out a relieved sigh. 

“This tastes excellent,” he told her, gazing across at her with adoring eyes. She felt her cheeks warm, and she began to eat to hide her bashfulness. 

“Have I told you how wonderful it is to have you greet me when I return home?” he said, drawing her eyes again as she peeked up at him. He was looking at her like she was his whole world, and to think that could be true brought a smile to her lips that made her cheeks ache. 

She reached forward to brush her hand over his as it rested on the table, watching his eyes dim slightly at her touch. Her elation was short-lived, her smile dropping as she was thrown into a deep ocean of thoughts once more. 

It had only been a few months since their engagement at the party. She was the happiest she’d ever been, but as the days passed, she began to wonder more and more if Jumin felt the same. His words were as sweet and loving as ever, but his actions were just the opposite. Sure, he made an effort to give her plenty of gifts, but that wasn’t what she cared about. 

He wouldn’t touch her. Their hugs were always one-sided, and they hadn’t properly kissed since that day with Sarah in his penthouse. They always sat slightly away from each other on the couch, and the few times she’d held his hand, he’d seemed uncomfortable the whole time. 

It all made her wonder if he was really happy with her. She thought that maybe he felt as if they had rushed things after all, that he hadn’t been ready. Had he misinterpreted infatuation for love? 

“My love,” Jumin called gently, making her realize she hadn’t answered his question. “Are you alright?” She blinked at him slowly, feeling a wave of emotions rising at his use of ‘my love.’

“No…” she said hesitantly, taking her hand back from his and placing it in her lap. His face fell, and he leaned closer, looking her once over. 

“What is it?” he wondered. The palpable concern in his voice confused her, making a frown appear on her lips as she moved to stare down at the ring on her left hand.

“Jumin,” she said slowly, gathering the courage to meet his worried eyes. “Why won’t you touch me?” she asked, her voice breaking into a whisper. She fought against the lump in her throat, pressing her lips together as he let out a quiet, ragged breath. 

“What?” he asked in disbelief, his eyes wide and puzzled. She sighed softly, looking down at both of their plates of food that would surely grow cold. 

“I feel like you don’t want to touch me,” she said, glancing at the wall behind him as her hands trembled. “Or really even be close to me,” she spoke quietly, twisting her engagement ring and peeking at his expression. He seemed to be caught off guard, his eyebrows drawn down in confusion and his lips slightly parted.

“Have I given you that impression?” he asked, making her eyebrows furrow slightly. 

“Yes,” she replied. He lifted the napkin that had been resting on his thigh to place it on the table, and it made her wonder if he was planning to leave. She sat up a little straighter, panicking slightly at the thought of upsetting him further. 

“I-If you don’t like physical contact or prefer not to be near me like that, you can tell me,” she said quickly, glad when he didn’t move to stand. He met her anxious stare, looking wounded as he closed his eyes for a moment. She hesitated, feeling her chest begin to ache again. 

“Please tell me,” she whispered, not wanting to leave the conversation without an answer to the question that had been eating at her for so long. He opened his eyes, gazing at her before sighing out. 

“That’s not it,” he said, making her eyebrows raise. 

“Then what is it?” she asked, unable to help the anticipation she felt for his thoughts. 

“This is all very new to me,” he said slowly, reaching up to loosen the black tie around his neck. “I have a hard time controlling myself around you, and…” He stopped, searching her eyes quickly and making her heart skip a beat. “I’m afraid if I give into that even by a fraction, I’ll make you uncomfortable.” Her mouth had fallen open at his words, but the slight tint on his cheeks as he stared at her made her almost laugh in disbelief. 

“Oh, Jumin,” she breathed out, pressing a few fingers to her lips. He shook his head, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt sleeves and folding them both up once as silence fell between them. 

“I’m sorry I made you think such a thing,” he said deeply, meeting her stare again. She felt the weight on her heart lessen, and a small smile turned the corners of her mouth up as she watched him. 

“I wish you would have told me sooner,” she said, watching him lean back against the chair and frown. “I want to be close to you, and I want you to be close to me too,” she told him, standing from her chair to walk to his side. 

She stopped just to his right, about to kneel beside his chair. As she was lowering herself to the ground, she felt his hands on her hips. He stopped her, gently shifting her weight to land in his lap. She felt her whole body flush with heat as she met his eyes, finding guilt and love in their grey depths. 

She steadied herself with a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm the rhythm of her heart when he kept one hand on her waist. 

“I know this is new to you, but I’m here for you,” she spoke softly, tilting her head a little as he took in her words intently. “To help you, okay?” His eyes softened once more, a smile stretching across his lips as she felt his thumb trace circles into her waist. She watched him nod, admiring her for a moment. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, making her smile in return. She hummed thoughtfully, feeling her back pressing against the table. 

“I’m sorry I’ve made dinner get cold,” she chuckled, hearing his gentle laugh chime in with hers. 

“I don’t mind. Thank you for going to the trouble,” he said, making her bashfully bite her lip without thinking. 

When his eyes were drawn to her lips, both their smiles fell, and she could feel her heart beginning to race once more. It was a long, quiet moment before he took a breath to speak. 

“May I kiss you?” he asked, searching her eyes as anticipation tingled in her fingertips.

“Yes, please,” she whispered, unable to stop herself from smiling. She watched as he leaned forward, the hand on her waist stilling briefly to secure her there as their lips met. Her eyes fluttered closed as she heard him take a slow breath in through his nose. She’d missed the silk of his lips on hers more than she’d realized, but just when she thought she could drown in him, he pulled away. 

Her eyes flew open, finding his already gazing at her with a warm love she’d given up hope of ever seeing again. He lifted a hand to her cheek, smiling as their noses brushed.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, the breath of his words dancing across her lips warmly. “I want to cherish you and show you just how much I care for you. _Please_ , tell me if I ever overstep my boundaries,” he spoke, his lips brushing hers and making her gasp quietly. 

“I will. I love you too, Jumin,” she said, melting into him when he didn’t hesitate to kiss her a second time. It felt like heaven when he pulled her even closer, holding her tightly against him as he kissed her time and time again.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaah i really liked writing this one! i had this idea for a while before angst week, and i hope you all liked it! thank you so much for taking the time to read this! <3 
> 
> [my mysme tumblr](https://yoosungisbabie.tumblr.com/) | [my ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/macaronsforchat) | [my paypal](https://paypal.me/macaronsforchat?locale.x=en_US)


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